LCBO: a tyranny of the dumbest

These four letters, LCBO, could easily stand for Liquid Colonoscopy Brewed in Ontario. It's weird, but each time I visit this chain of alcoholic beverages, I get sort of depressed; it's ridiculous. Can you imagine a kid walking into a candy shop and getting sick of it? The only rational explanation would be either the kid doesn't like candy, or the shop owner is a completely dumb pachyderm.

After visiting the SAQ last week, I could also realize the LCBO has not only the largest imaginable list of undrinkable wines, but for those which are drinkable, they will rip off the good and neglected Ontarians. Here's a clarifying example: while in Montreal I bought a bottle of 2007 Heitz Cabernet Sauvignon for $62,75, which in the end costed me $56,47 because of an additional 10% rabais mystère, exactly the same wine was featured last month on one of the LCBO's glossy pamphlet for $83,95.

This represents an almost 34% increase when buying this Californian wine in Ontario versus Québec. The intriguing thing is that for a very long time I was told taxes are higher in QC, so are Ontarians that much richer than Quebecers? Is the LCBO favouring cheap shitty wines just because they don't know better? Or is someone at the LCBO getting really generous presents from those gigantic multinationals producing cheap and vulgar wines?

A friend was telling me this dated monopoly -the bloody LCBO- auctions fabulous wines, but why on earth should anybody have to go to an auction to buy a decent bottle of wine? I can't imagine having to buy a ticket for a silly auction in order to purchase a good car, a nice piece of meat or a fancy pair of shoes.

I have no problem with a disgusting government apparatus selling horrible wine, but why is a provincial authority deciding which wines can Ontarians drink or not drink? For the same reason, this medieval system could also dictate which books are available in Ontario, or which music is illegal. Just like in Cuba or Venezuela, two champions of democracy, as we all know...

It is both ridiculous and nauseating. Hard to understand how this is happening in a country which not too long ago was supposed to be an advanced democracy. A few centuries ago not even the infamous Spanish Inquisition went that far. It looks like George Monbiot was right, unfortunately, when last September he wrote for The Guardian: "Like Canada, Australia is slipping back down the development ladder...". And it would make a lot of sense to add the LCBO is the undeniable probe of a hidden, but alarming Canadian undevelopment.